


Not Quite

by Anonymous



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU - Modern, Demons, First Meetings, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 19:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15735681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Fili tries a summoning spell.  Things go wrong.For Waterlilyblue!





	Not Quite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waterlilyblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterlilyblue/gifts).



> This little fic is for Waterlilyblue, for always being supportive. Your comments are always so appreciated, dear. I hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry I don't know if you have a Tumblr blog or not.

Fili held up the paper, comparing the illustration to the circle he’d drawn on his floor.  It looked right, but the picture was a copy he’d printed out and some of the runes were not as clear as he liked.  Whatever.  He set the paper aside with a shrug.  He didn’t feel like waiting until the next new moon to try the summoning.

He double checked his supplies.  Bowls set around the summoning circle at the points of the compass, each containing something to represent elements – water, salt, a lit candle, and a smoldering cone of incense.  A knife next to an unlit candle – the knife was a physical symbol of the iron of his will, and the candle would start the spell when he lit it and end the summoning when extinguished.  Last but not least, a ham sandwich he made as a sacrifice, sitting on a paper plate inside the circle.  Imps weren’t picky, and he refused to kill something, so sandwich it was.

He was as ready as he was going to get.  He took a deep breath and lit the candle.

A column of smoke started rising in the center of the summoning circle.  It darkened and grew thicker, reaching to the ceiling before it coalesced to reveal the summoned creature.

It looked human, tall and broad shouldered.  It was tan, with long, dark hair flowing down its shoulders.  It was dressed in shades of grey, a long slate jacket over a pale shirt and a silver satin waistcoat, with charcoal trousers and black boots.  Round glasses with cool grey lenses and silver wire frames perched on its nose, and the outfit was topped off by a pale top hat with a charcoal band.  The only thing that set it apart from human was the flare of its scarlet eyes peering over the glasses as it looked around. 

Fili had planned on summoning an imp the size of a doll.  Instead he had somehow pulled up a demon that looked like it belonged on the cover of a steampunk bodice-ripper romance, with entirely too much intelligence for comfort. 

“Damn it,” Fili muttered. 

The demon’s attention snapped to him.  “Hello there.”

Fili’s stomach twisted as he glanced at the discarded paper with the instructions.  The book said that if he messed up a part of the spell, nothing would happen.  It didn’t mention anything like this. 

The demon followed his line of sight before it looked at the drawn circle.  A corner of its mouth quirked up as it took off its glasses and tucked them away in a pocket.  “You weren’t expecting me, were you?  Looks like you were trying for something small.”

Fili was trying not to panic.  He just had to figure something out, find a way to deal with this situation before it got out of hand.  A small part of his brain was screaming that the situation was already off the rails, but he ignored it.  He could fix this. 

“I think this is where the mistake is.  The line here is curved when it should be straight.”  The demon bent over and tapped at the floor, pointing at a rune.  It grabbed the sandwich and stood back up.  “I can show you how to fix it, if you like.”

“No.”  Making a deal with a demon was a complication he didn’t need. 

The demon rolled its eyes and peeled back the bread.  It scooped up a dollop of mayonnaise on its finger and asked, “Do you have a drink?  And for the record, I’d prefer mustard next time.  Spicy brown, if you please, none of that cheap yellow crap.” 

Fili scoffed.  “There’s not going to be a next time.”

“Oh, darling, there’s always a next time.”  It watched Fili’s face as it licked the mayonnaise off its finger.

Was the demon trying to flirt with him?  It took a bite of the sandwich and winked, and Fili’s breath caught.  Yes, it was flirting.  He needed to get the demon out of his living room, right now. 

The demon swallowed before saying, “So, about that drink.  I’d love a beer.”

This entire thing was surreal.  Fili shook his head.  “I’m not getting you a beer.”

“I understand.  Business comes first.  I suppose a social call is too much to hope for.”  The demon bent over and put the remains of the sandwich back on the plate with a sigh. 

The candle flickered and caught Fili’s attention.  Of course, the candle!  In one swift motion, Fili blew out the candle and laid the knife across the line of the circle to end the summoning spell. 

Nothing happened. 

The demon made a show of dusting its hands as it said, “A word of advice, freely given to you.  Stopping a spell doesn’t mean you automatically stop the effects.  I mean, what if you stab someone?  Just because you stop stabbing them, that doesn’t mean they’ll quit bleeding.  Right?” 

Fili didn’t reply.  He just watched the demon with dread pooling in his stomach. 

The demon seemed unfazed by Fili’s reaction.  It gave him a brilliant smile.  “I bet you were expecting me to just vanish in a puff of smoke.  Poof!”  It laughed before it leaned closer and whispered, “All you did was break the circle.”

The demon took an exaggerated step forward, over the lines of the circle.  Fili stumbled back, but it didn’t attack.  It crossed the living room to the table beside the front door and picked up a piece of junk mail with a thoughtful hum.

“Fili Durin, of 975 Lonely Mountain Lane,” it read before dropping the envelope.  It pulled its glasses out and put them on as it said, “Thank you for lunch, Fili Durin.  I’ll be seeing you.”

It dropped a wink and sauntered out the door.

“Wait!”  Fili rushed after it, tripping over the bowl of salt and scattering it in his haste.  He was too late, though.  The demon was nowhere to be seen.  “Well, shit.”  


End file.
